Secrets of the Heart
by Nanashi911
Summary: When Erts and Hiead are paired together, things get off to a rocky start and just when the mood lightens up the unthinkable happens! Shounen ai warning


This fic is actually a long time coming! It's an Erts/Hiead, but it is hard to tell who exactly is the seme? Shounen-ai but nothing heavy. Some mild language in certain places too. Hiead is pretty OOC near the end, but doesn't he always end up that way in unconventional pairings? Very fun to make him squirm. This was one of the hardest fics to write, but I had a good time doing it, so I hope you enjoy it.   
  
Dedicated to Edith Winner!  
  
Secrets of the Heart  
By: Nanashi  
  
--Erts POV--  
  
The silvery haired candidate did not look too happy when my former instructor Azuma paired us up. I could feel the disappointment radiating from him, but I approached him anyway. We had been assigned to each other and there was nothing either of us could do about it. He gave me my proper respect as a pilot, but his eyes never left the retreating figure of Teela and her partner Clay. My own gaze wandered over to Zero, who was now in an intense glaring contest with Gareas. I almost sighed sadly, but decided against it at the moment. Even a staring contest was an improvement over the silence between us right now. How was he supposed to train with me and learn from me if he wouldn't even speak to me? If I was going to spend a week with this boy, I had to try to get to know him.  
  
"So, Hiead is it?" I asked cheerfully attempting to open the line of communication.  
  
He nodded vacantly. I finally sighed. This was going to be hard. We had nothing in common, it seemed, and he didn't look like the type to make any kind of compromise.  
  
Zero came bounding up to us and he clung to my sleeve, tugging on it dejectedly.  
  
"I lost.." he whined.  
  
I smiled, "That's Gareas for you."  
  
He rolled his eyes, "How can you stand him? He is stubborn, loud and quick to anger. Completely impossible!"  
  
I giggled, but my partner only scoffed, smirking evilly at the flustered boy next to me.  
  
"In that case he is a lot like you..you deserve each other."   
  
Zero turned to him quickly. "I was talking to Erts not you! Stay out of it!" he yelled.  
  
Hiead's glare deepened while Zero turned back to me sadly.  
  
"It's not fair, I would have rather been teamed up with you Erts.." he mumbled.   
  
I almost felt sorry for him, but Garu was a great pilot and I knew Zero would benefit from him. Especially if they got over their 'first meeting' a long time ago.  
  
"He already forbade me to go near his Ingrid! We haven't even eaten yet and he is already yelling at me for something I haven't done yet!" he grumbled.  
  
That sentence gave me a great idea for breaking the ice with Hiead. I gave Zero a sympathetic look.  
  
"You'll be ok Zero, but, I have to get going. Lots to do today." I smiled.  
  
He blinked a few times at my sudden rush, "O-ok..if you really..have to."   
  
"You'll be fine! We'll talk next time." I said motioning for Hiead to follow me as I headed out the door.   
  
I knew exactly what to do now. I led the boy through a few halls, down some corridors, past sliding doors and down elevators, until we reached our destination. The whole time he had followed behind me silently but keeping up the pace. Now his eyes widened slightly at the sight before him. We were in the Megami hanger, and in a row the 5 Ingrids were stationed securely. His slight change of expression didn't last very long as he composed himself once again to his usual cold stare. He didn't even wait for me to invite him in, he just began walking ahead of me, heading straight for my Ingrid.  
  
"So..what do you think?" I said standing under the large machine.  
  
He almost seemed to grin and his lips quirked as if he was trying to get the right words out.  
  
"I hadn't seen one of these up close before." he spoke as he walked closer to the goddess.   
  
It was good to finally get a sentence out of him. I watched as he stretched out his hand tentatively and stroked the metallic front of the mecha. He couldn't seem to tear his view from it and his hands searched the surface with an almost childish curiosity. I smiled watching him. He looked as if he had forgotten that anything besides himself and that Ingrid existed, because the canon, cold front and rigid nature of his movements faded. I wanted to gain his trust and at the same time show him that he could trust me. It would be the key to a healthy partnership once we started training, so I saw no harm in going *all or nothing* now.  
  
"You are a Zenoah correct?" I asked.  
  
He turned to me with a mildly suspicious look to his eyes.  
  
"Who told you that?"  
  
"Zero."  
  
The boy huffed, "Should have figured. Yes, I suppose I am."  
  
I nodded having confirmed that obstacle. I turned and walked by him to a platform with many panels and buttons. I began punching in codes and tapping on the keys as information piled up on the screens.   
  
Hiead turned to me even more curious than before, "What are you doing?"  
  
I stopped my work and faced him, exhaling deeply.  
  
"Do you want to feel her?" I asked.  
  
He shifted his weight, a surprised reaction to my question.  
  
"Wh-who?" he asked as if he didn't know what I meant.  
  
"You know.." I pointed to Reneighd Klein, "The spirit inside the goddess. Do you want to see what I see?"  
  
--Hiead's POV--  
  
This boy had just presented me with the opportunity I had longed for all my life. I could finally shut Zero up every time he raved about stepping in a Goddess and how he was soooo special for surviving. I could finally make contact with the spirit like he had. I nodded earnestly to the young pilot. Perhaps it was a bit too obvious of my excitement. Nothing up until now had given me goosebumps and made my heart race as much as this moment. He turned back to his panels and began punching in commands furiously. I stared at the boy.  
  
There was something ethereal and graceful in his manner. He was calm and gentle, it seemed, in almost any situation. I had never met anyone with this sedate demeanor among my 'fellow' candidates (I use the term broadly). The only one who comes close could be Roose, but he is whiny and such a coward. This guy had the best of everyone all rolled up into one. Not bad looking either...well not as attractive as I was, but there was something about his blond short hair. An innocence about him that hid something deeper. I liked innocence.   
  
A smirk escaped my lips, careful not to be noticed.  
  
It was odd. I could tell so much about him already, and yet I hardly knew him. The only one of us who knew him well was Zero.   
  
It's enough to make my blood boil.  
  
Just the fact it's Zero who gets to be so close to him. How can this person, a pilot no less, stand him!? I suppose patience and tolerance was another one of his virtues..something I definitely did not need or want.  
  
He finally turned to me flashing his big happy blue eyes. Something in my gut stirred for a second. It was a sickening feeling..almost sweet. I tried not to look at him directly.  
  
"Ok she's all ready. I configured her slightly to receive you. But.." he paused for a moment searching for the right words. "I..can't guarantee you will be completely safe. Our personalities differ you see.."  
  
I could have raged over that. I couldn't stand anyone telling me I was inferior in ANY way. But his eyes were soft and concerned and I realized he meant it for my safety. Had anyone ever really worried over me before? I pushed the threat of relapsing into my mind's past. No..nobody cared. But this guy..that I hardly knew except through reputation, did.  
  
Augh! There was that sickening twitch inside me again..I was veering way off the point here!  
  
I threw on a challenging smile. I would just have to show him I could handle it. The way I eventually show everyone.   
  
Stepping confidently towards the Ingrid looming above me, I nodded my head, ignoring his last comments. "I'm ready."  
  
"So am I..but you do realize Hiead, whatever happens..you cannot tell a soul about it. I could get in huge trouble for this; reconfiguring an Ingrid to someone other than myself. But I know you have potential and perhaps the ability to do this..so..I trust you."  
  
Trust? A warmth crept over me. A goddess pilot trusted ME? My knees grew slightly weak. It was a feeling I had never felt before. Hiead Gner was NEVER bent under pressure; and to think one simple word could cause so much confusion. I had to go through with it now, I had to play it off and come out triumphantly. It was the first time I ever felt something big riding on me. This something, happened to be his trust. I wasn't going to let him down.  
  
"You have my word.."  
  
--Erts POV--  
  
I was undoubtedly happy about the communication progress we were making and I knew all along my Ingrid would be the key to all of it. I admit I was very apprehensive about letting him enter the actual mecha. I hadn't really put much thought into the consequences and I do remember Zero telling me about his experience. However there was something different about Hiead that set them apart. He seemed to be grounded as to the way things worked on GOA. He was pilot material.  
  
I nodded to him, relieved that he could keep a secret, and quickly turned back to my controls.   
  
"When you get inside, turn on the audio link. You will see it to your side. I will guide you through the rest of the process then."  
  
The hatch to the Goddess opened, releasing an eerie hiss as it did so. Hiead was not phased in the least as his clenched fists only tightened at the sight. Before I knew it his limbs were disappearing through the liquid film of the entrance.   
  
My nervousness grew as my attention returned to the panels and keys below my fingertips. I wasn't half as skilled at using these as Tune was, but I did know my way around and what to look out for. As directed he opened the audio link quickly. His training in the Pro-Ings had really paid off, making him familiar with simple commands.   
  
I spoke while checking his bio-stats, "Calm down and open your eyes first."   
  
His pulse was slightly racing and I could hear his heavy breath.  
  
"Communication is important to adjusting Hiead, talk to me. What are you feeling?" I stated.  
  
"I-I'm ok. This is incredible.." he gasped.   
  
One of the Ingrid's fingers began twitching slightly.  
  
"I can feel..myself connected. My movement's are her movement's.."  
  
I smiled relieved that his stats were dropping back to normal. His comfortable synchronization with the Goddess was amazing to me. I could tell that any training I could give him during our week together would sink in without trouble. He was a prodigy and I could only wonder if Zero would have had this reaction, had he been more familiar with mecha's in general the way Hiead now was. My thoughts were suddenly interrupted by his voice.   
  
"It's..it's you isn't it?" he said absently to the air.  
  
"Hiead? What do you see? Who is it?" I demanded to know.  
  
"What do you want from me..? Why do you show me these things? It..it's not true. I don't believe you! That's impossible!" he retorted, his tone becoming more forceful with every word.  
  
I pounded away at the keys in front of me. Something was wrong but it wasn't registering anywhere and my attempts to get him to focus were failing. I had to get him out of there, even if it seemed like nothing was wrong.  
  
"Hiead, I'm getting you out of there right now!" I warned trying to prepare him for the forceful ejection.  
  
I could hear him clawing away at the insides of the cockpit. His foot began jamming up against the entrance of the Ingrid in an attempt to break out.  
  
"NO! Stop..stay away from me! You LIE!" he screamed.  
  
That was the last straw for me. I pressed in the eject commands and the door to the Ingrid slowly began to pry open. Liquid poured from inside and I prepared for his launch from the Goddess. I ran in front of the entrance, risking the chance of touching him as he flew out. There was no other way to intercept a frantic pilot.  
  
I had not anticipated the force with which he was thrown, and in a moment he had pounded into me, half unconscious, sending us both sprawling across the platform. For a split second my hand made contact with one of his limbs, like I had feared would happen during the turmoil. Flashes of what was going on in his head and the emotions tied with them, flooded into all corners of my body. It was intense and I had a clear view of everything that had happened as I lay there under his weight. Unable to bear any more of what I saw, I rolled his heaving and weary body off of me.  
  
He moaned in mental pain, covering his face with his hands. He rolled onto his knees weakly supporting himself on his hands. Slowly he stood up to his feat still dizzy and flushed from his experience.  
  
My hands trembled as I processed everything I had felt from him..everything I had seen.   
  
"Hiead..you..I saw.." I stuttered trying to approach him with the subject.   
  
He staggered about for a moment on his feet. His shoulders haunched in a weak and defeated posture. He rose a shaky hand as if to silence me.  
  
"Please..don't." he struggled, turning on his wobbly legs and stumbling away from me towards the exit.  
  
I almost made an attempt to follow him, but I knew that what I had discovered could not make it easy for him to face me at the moment.  
  
--Hiead's POV--  
  
I couldn't stand it! He saw..he saw everything and I had not made an attempt to explain myself. It made the situation look even worse now, I realized as I passed the gossiping looks of people around me. I didn't have time for these fools, I had too many things on my mind right now. Like embarrassment and disbelief. I shot into the nearest washroom, rushing for the sink and splashing my burning face with icy water. I replayed what had happened earlier in my mind as I stared at my own reflection in the mirror.  
  
Everything had been going well in the Goddess. I was synchronized with the mecha and had engulfed myself completely in the strange feeling that surged through me. I felt almost as if I had acquired something denied to me so long ago, a completeness of myself. Then I saw her..  
  
The long pale strands of hair spilling all around me from above, her fragile figure hovering just a short distance away. It was as if the mechanical scenery around me had melted away into an empty void of blue. Just her and I. It was surprising at first, and then almost exciting as she smiled at me and I realized just what I was seeing. I finally understood what Zero had been raving about the whole time. Then it happened. She had reached out and held my face in her hands. We became linked in this way and for the first time I heard her talk. But it was like she was speaking right into my mind rather than my ears. Her touch was almost familiar and comforting for that split moment that she greeted me. Her words however became more eerie. She told me I was just like her. She told me to return to her. I was confused asking her what she meant by all that. The space around me became almost cold and chilling. Her gentle expression changed and her grip on my face tightened. She pulled away from me suddenly horrified.   
  
"No! You are not like me..nothing like me. You are one of THEM! Your heart..it's not the same it's full of..full of anger. We are NOT compatible..you must leave!" she shuddered as she cowered away from me.  
  
I was tired of it, tired of being treated differently. I was the best damn candidate. I had an EX worthy of being the best pilot. I had gone through more than anyone could have possibly known and now that I had found what I had been looking for..it rejected me the same way everyone else did.   
  
I was enraged.   
  
"WHY!? What's wrong with me? Answer me! Why am I different?!"  
  
She turned her face away. "Come back to me..when you have been healed."  
  
"How? how do I do that? What do you mean by 'healed'? I am in perfect shape! I'm a damn Zenoah even, can't you see that!?" I screamed mentally.  
  
She turned to me again, smiling almost coldly. "You are not ready yet. I can't help you..but you know who can."  
  
The space around me suddenly became filled with images. I realized they were images of the thoughts in my mind. I heard myself echoing all around me. They weren't words I've spoken before..they were things I have thought.   
  
"I am jealous", "I need him.", "I want to know him.", "He's better than I am.", "I hate him." rang all around me.   
  
"Please teach me!", "I'm so alone.", "I'm scared.", "Don't leave me.", "Do I love him?"..I covered my ears attempting to stop the words from repeating themselves over and over again in my head.   
  
"Please stop!" I yelled, "I never meant any of it..they are all lies!"  
  
Her smile broadened as the images around me became clear and larger, imposing their truth on me. I saw it then, my fantasies.   
  
His smiling face. His large blue eyes and straight blond hair. The images threatened to overwhelm me. I closed my eyes but I could still see them replaying in my head. I was holding him, he was kissing me. He was smiling at me and I was smiling back. He held my hand as if leading me into a future of happiness. I saw myself in the white Ingrid fighting by his side. Protecting him, and he supporting me.  
  
I felt sick, the images made me sick. It wasn't true, it couldn't be!  
  
"Stop, you lie! It's not true, it can't be!" I yelled.  
  
Then I saw my fears..  
  
He was leaving me. His warmth gone. Zero claiming Ernn Laties. Zion destroyed. The death of all the pilots. Discharged from GOA shamefully. Nowhere to return to. Then the more familiar nightmares. The hands, the blood, the gun. The fear.  
  
"Not again..get away from me..no stop! Don't take me!"  
  
It was myself, my fears, my fantasies..everything. All thrown out in the open before me..and her. She wore a look of pity now.   
  
"I know.." she said, "Come back to us..when you are healed."   
  
She closed her eyes, fading away, and I was filled with a blinding light. It took me a moment to realize I was outside the Ingrid now and crushed on top of the young blond Pilot. His eyes widened and I knew, I could feel..that he knew. That he saw it all. I was reeling, exhausted, embarrassed, confused and I had to leave right then and there.  
  
~*~  
  
I watched the water flow from the faucet and down the drain. With it went my pride, my secrets, my dreams..everything.   
  
"Hiead.."  
  
I whirled around to face the familiar voice. It was Erts.  
  
"I suppose you know by now, what happens when I touch someone."  
  
I turned back to the sink gripping the sides until my knuckles turned white. How could I look at him? Knowing that he knew all my deepest thoughts. On top of that, he was the subject of all the freshest ones.  
My face burned, not sure if it was embarrassment or rage.  
  
"I'm sorry. I can only guess how you must feel. I didn't think any of this was going to happen, you know I never meant to touch you, and.. and.." he looked down at his feet sheepishly, "you don't have to worry about me telling anyone your secrets, I really didn't mind what I saw. Actually.."  
  
I couldn't stand it. He was acting so unnaturally understanding. Didn't anything phase him? Wasn't he revolted or disgusted by anything he saw? How could a person be so one-dimensional! I couldn't deal with it. The one person that I felt the closest thing possible to affection for, and he was taking it all in easy strides, like it was nothing. This was something huge and unheard of for me! A first experience of any type and the worse part is he KNEW..exactly how I felt. This was all so new to me..even regret and inferiority were firsts. I was not prepared for any of it, nor did I want to try. I didn't need this now. I didn't need his pity or friendship, despite what I saw and heard in that Ingrid. It was all lies..I DON'T want him or need him..none of him. So I did the only thing I could do. Chase him away.   
  
A semi-psychotic grin spread widely across my face as all my anger and confusion fed it. I found myself chuckling..he stopped talking when he heard me.  
  
--Ert's POV--  
  
Was he crying? or laughing? His face was still hung low and his body began convulsing slightly. He was losing it. I didn't know what to do. Stand there staring like an idiot as he broke down in front of me, or reach out and try to comfort him? The broken sounds continued coming from him and I decided that at a time like this, the least I could do was show him I cared.  
  
I reached for his shoulder but my fingers had no sooner touched the fabric of his uniform than he had spun around and knocked my hand away brutally.   
  
"Don't touch me!..you freak.." he spouted, a dangerous look in his eyes.  
  
A pain shot through my heart. I could feel the stress in the air around us. I winced holding my hand and nursing it gently. What was going on?  
  
"Hiead..you didn't have to do th-"  
  
"Shut up! Everything you saw and felt was a lie! How could someone like me possibly feel anything for such a cursed boy. Azuma was right..you ARE a demon. An evil demon incapable of touching anyone without cheating them of their privacy!-"  
  
I stepped back in shock at all the angry words he was snarling at me. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I had seen such an honest real person in my vision. Someone who lived with so much fear that he became a completely cold, and seemingly uncaring person. I had wanted to be the one to show him warmth, to melt his reluctant icy heart..but the person I was seeing now, was such a drastic change.  
  
"You disgust me..with your predictable smile and forgiving, kind nature; as if you understand everything about everyone, conjuring up reasons and excuses for the actions of those around you. Well? Did you predict this from me..hmm? Is this a side you didn't see? Why do you look so surprised then! You should have been expecting it, you saw what kind of person I am..so naive, you are so innocent and naive..it's disgusting! Don't think for a second that I care that you are a pilot, or my superior. I call them as I see them and I am telling you right now to stay the hell away from me! Don't talk to me or look at me..or you will end up as sorry as Force did, you hear me!?"  
  
It was about all I could take. Hiead was right..he was so right about me. He didn't have to touch me and leech off my feelings to know what I was like, and yet he was wrong. He only saw the surface..I knew how to cry, how to fear, how to regret and he didn't see that. He only saw my smile and to someone like him, it was revolting. I disgusted him..I..disgusted..him.   
  
I turned and ran out of the bathroom without looking back.  
  
--Hiead's POV--  
  
He ran out of that bathroom so quickly that it cut my rant short. It hurt me to some degree..doing this to someone who for the first time treated me like a human being. But..I didn't need that from him, I didn't want that..right? My eyes stung for some reason..and I washed my face again.  
  
~*~  
  
Two days passed. We did our training as instructed, but always parted ways after. We didn't eat together, look at each other or walk down the halls within range. We didn't spend any length of time together beyond what was required.  
  
I looked at the bruise on my wrist, turning my hand over a few times. I remember what happened the day after I told Erts his truths. Zero had come out of nowhere and slammed me up against the wall. I didn't struggle in the least bit, perhaps because I knew I deserved it. He yelled at me, demanding to know what I had done to Erts. He tightened his grip on my wrist the more he yelled, pronouncing each word clearly as if I was too stupid to understand. Of course I knew what I had done to Erts, I didn't feel good about it but I also didn't feel guilty. Things were better off this way. If it wasn't for Azuma separating us, our encounter would have probably come to blows.  
  
I pawed at the contents of my plate returning my hand to a resting position on the table. I wasn't particularly hungry, but I also wasn't tired, so the thought of retreating to my room didn't interest me. I looked at my surroundings for a moment. Zero was glaring at me a short distance away as he chewed. I turned my head in the opposite direction only to meet momentarily with large blue eyes. I realized it was Ert's sad gaze on me and we both diverted direction. I felt safer staring at my plate. At that moment Azuma's voice came over the intercom, initiating another day of training. I got up quickly feeling the need to rush out of there as fast as possible. I walked briskly down the hall to my destination and with a brief look behind me I noticed my partner was following a short distance away. I picked up the pace.  
  
"All right, today's objective will be fencing. Your Pilot partners will be on the offensive and you must defend. It is one of the most basic strategies when going up against victim, so this exercise will help sharpen your skills against the much more experienced pilots."  
  
Gareas and Zero both cracked their knuckles. Idiots. I heard Clay whimper and Teela crossed her arms huffing impatiently. It was irritating to look at these people. I dared to sneak a peek at my own partner standing silently beside me. He didn't even notice.   
  
Before I knew it we were facing each other, the only two people in the huge empty fighting room. Our true expressions lay hidden beneath our masks, but I would know in a moment the conflict between us. The buzzer went off, giving us the go ahead to begin the match and Erts wasted no time in lunging at me. No formal pre-fight stance of acknowledgment, just right to business. I dodged his initial attack, but turned in time to block a hard blow from his foil. He thrashed at me relentlessly, almost as if taking out his inner aggressions. This surprised me, I could not have imagined this calm boy being so stressed. I began to look at him in a new almost frightful light. He wasn't holding anything back, I decided neither would I. I remembered what a fool he had made me look like two days ago, the violating vulnerability I had felt and it was fuel enough to begin my own massive offense. For a moment I held the upper hand, each slice of my foil becoming harsher and more precise as my anger built. How dare he get mad at me!? I was the one hurt, the one invaded..if he couldn't handle being told to his face the way I saw him, then it made him that much more ignorant and despicable. And yet..my mind wavered for a moment..I realized I was a lot like him actually. I realized, in our show of aggression, that perhaps the things I had told him, also qualified for me.   
  
That second of disconcentration cost me the match. He easily took advantage and I found myself under the point of his foil. He threw off his mask, heaving, exhausted and angry. His pale cheeks were brushed with a tinge of redness and his forehead glistened with the faint trace of sweat. He held his triumphant stance as I took off my own mask. Our angry eyes locked just then, but he was the first to pull away this time.  
  
I scrambled up off the floor, satisfied that our training session was over with. I could get out of this room, out of these clothes and out of his sight. The quicker, the better. I turned to head out of the room but his once silent voice stopped me in my tracks.  
  
"Hiead!"  
  
I grunted, annoyed at being addressed and then lifted a dismissing hand as I continued my exit.  
  
"I told you not to talk to me..I don't want to hear it."  
  
I was then forcefully stopped by a hand on my shoulder, and I knew it was him. I could feel all my thoughts and emotions emptying out of my body and funneling into his skin. Before I could realize what was happening he had spun me around and seized my lips with his own. And in his surprisingly strong grip he held me there as images began to flood my head. But these were not my own.  
  
I almost lost consciousness overwhelmed by his thoughts. I saw everything he was. His loneliness, his solitary life because of his abilities. The friends he lost because he was 'different', being left behind by his candidate brother..then the grief of losing him as a pilot. The reluctance and fear of fighting then overshadowed by the fierce need to protect his comrades. The relief and comfort from Zero's acceptance..and then..then I saw myself. His heartbeat raced along with mine as I pulled back into my own consciousness and it dawned on me exactly what it was we were doing as the presence of his lips on mine made itself known.  
  
I pulled away inhaling sharply, "Wha-what was.."  
  
He smiled. "I knew you wouldn't hear me out..so I had to show you."  
  
My heart pounded uncontrollably under his grasp and the need to say something, to comment on the current situation, hung in the air..and yet I was speechless, still in disbelief of what had just happened. I backed away from him slowly and touched my burning lips.   
  
Our eyes locked, and I could see the anticipation in his endless sea of blue. Then he advanced towards me again.  
  
--Erts POV--  
  
I could tell he was confused. Everything had happened so quickly. I found an inner strength within me that I never knew existed before. It was amazing to me that this Ruby-eyed boy would be the one to bring it out.  
  
And now he was waiting, the silent questions running through his mind and the tinge of shock in his eyes still present. I moved towards him to make my final statements, to confess myself to him and hope he would perhaps understand and accept me.  
  
But it would not happen, for just as I stepped up to him and just as my lips parted to speak, a siren went off.   
  
All along the hallways and in the training room, the sound echoed and red lights flashed. Outside thundering footsteps of people running could be heard, and I knew exactly what it was.  
  
"Victim!" I exclaimed.  
  
Rio's head popped into the room and he motioned for me to follow, "We need you Erts!"  
  
I nodded and quickly turned back to the now composed and aloof Hiead.  
  
"I will be back, we still need to talk." I assured.  
  
He nodded almost angrily, "You have some explaining to do, Pilot."  
  
I didn't take that as a good sign, but I also didn't have time to reflect on it as I turned and bolted out of the room on Rio's heels.  
  
~*~  
  
It was only a matter of minutes before I was standing beside my Ingrid. Tune gave me a hurried check and then proclaimed the mecha ready to board. Meanwhile GOA shook violently for a moment. I, as well as the other pilots, struggled to steady ourselves while our corresponding Megami lurched stiffly in their stations. The victim were attacking GOA. I quickly slid into Reneighd Klein as soon as the hatch burst open.  
  
Once inside Tune began to communicate with me, giving me all the latest information on what was going on around the perimeter. Teela also came over the intercom and gave our group the formations and plans of attack.   
  
In no time, I found myself launched into space, following closely behind the other Goddesses and taking temporary refuge behind Rio's shield while I gathered information on the victim. I tuned my senses toward them. This was the first time their objective was not Zion. It was like they were growing smarter..more aware. They knew, somehow, that the only thing guarding the planet was GOA and that the Goddesses were stationed there. I could sense they had developed plans and knew that by getting rid of the ship, they could seriously gain ground on whatever their mission against Zion was. I wasn't about to let that happen.  
  
"These are Class D, A-type Victim. Three in all, no leader determined. They are huge! watch out for their beam. Teela..they are after your Ingrid and intend on taking it out before reaching GOA, their target." I relayed to the other pilots.  
  
Yu and Gareas quickly took the front, guarding Ernn Laties behind them.  
  
"Great job Erts." Gareas said through the audio-link, "I will take the big blue one on the right, Yu you take the other got it!"  
  
"Be careful.." Teela warned.   
  
A sharp fling of emotion seeped into me. I knew immediately where it was coming from and in the midst of the raging battle I turned to gaze in the direction of GOA. Using the zoom capabilities of my viewer I zeroed in to where the energy was coming from and I could see, plastered against the glass, stood Hiead. He was looking intently at the battle and his worried emotions were reaching me. Hiead Gner was actually worried about me? Had the desperate kiss we shared changed something in him? Did he finally realize what it was that I felt for him? That he wasn't alone if he didn't want to be?   
  
I was suddenly shoved out of the way.  
  
"Watch yourself Erts! You zoned out there! That Victim could have mangled you." Rio rebuked hastily.  
  
My eyes widened as I saw the third victim race past me and in the direction of GOA. More precisely, right towards the section of glass, Hiead was observing from.  
  
"Hiead! It's going straight for him!" I screamed.  
  
I saw his eyes widen as the massive Victim approached at full speed and I didn't even take a second to think before I gave chase. There was no way I would let that monster destroy the one person I wanted so desperately to know.  
  
Behind me Rio was shouting, "Erts! Are you crazy?! What are you doing?! You don't have the weaponry to fight that thing off! Wait for Teela!"  
  
But it was too late, if I didn't try to stop it, the beast would plow right into the side of GOA. I'm sure the ship would survive, but Hiead would not and right now he was most important to me.  
  
I gripped the throttle of my Goddess and gunned the boosters to their limit, giving me an extra burst of speed. In that moment I caught up with the alien and quickly wound myself around it diverting it's path from GOA at the last second. The creature clawed and squirmed beneath my grasp, lurching itself through space in a violent attempt to shake me off. The effort my mecha was making to hang on was incredible and slowly the metallic creaks and groans of the limbs giving way weighed on me. I couldn't hold on much longer and if I failed now, I would surely die.  
  
The lights from the other two victim blazed as Yu and Gareas finally finished them off. The last remaining victim lashed at my Ingrid. The limbs continued to creak and threaten to snap. My body was being thrown and knocked about inside the cockpit and it was almost enough to shut my mind down completely. I caught the blue and red of Tellia Kallisto and Eeva Leena approaching me. Teela's whisper rang in my head. "It will be ok now, I will take care of this Erts."  
  
And I finally..let go.  
  
~*~  
  
I was awakened by a rush of warmth that spidered through the nerves of my body. He was waking me like I hoped he would. When my eyes finally fluttered open, they came to focus on the distraught face of Hiead hovering above me.  
  
"That was a pretty reckless stunt you pulled, pilot." he rebuked softly.  
  
I barely noticed what he said as the only thing I paid attention to was the fact he was holding my hand.  
  
"Hiead..you..you are holding me hand." I stated, making sure he was aware of what he was doing.  
  
His tanned skin deepened into a rosy color on his face. "I know."  
  
I smiled as I tried sitting up to a better position.  
  
"You saved me.." he said while his eyes wandered sheepishly around the room.   
  
One of his hands brushed the back of his neck nervously. It was a new look for him, something different from the usual iciness of his manner and his futile attempt to hide it was almost amusing. I could tell he never had experience in the realm of concern and all around niceness.  
  
"I..didn't know exactly how to thank you. I'm not so..good with words so.." he trailed off giving my hand a squeeze.  
  
"So you wanted to show me." I finished for him, my smile broadening.  
  
He nodded, and I could feel his uncharacteristic warmth flooding into me. His own way of telling me it was going to be ok. But as quickly as it started it stopped and a new more dreadful feeling surged into me. I briefly saw the disturbing images of the Victim attacking GOA in his mind. Realizing what I was seeing, he made an attempt to pull back his hand, but I clung on.  
  
"Hiead, why did that Victim target you?" I asked curiously.  
  
He shook his head and let it hang in defeat as he realized I would not let go of his hand and that the psychic link between us would stay open. Flashes of what the spirit of my Ingrid had told him flickered through his mind.  
  
"I don't know..who I am..what I am..my past..I.." he began to quiver and for the first time desperate emotions rose within him.  
  
I had to stop him. Before I knew what I was doing, the boy was engulfed in my arms.  
  
"Shhh.." I soothed, "I don't care who you are, or what you are. I just want to understand you."  
  
He flinched, "But I'm not normal.."  
  
I pulled back and let my face level to his, a skeptical brow lifting to prove my point.  
  
"And I am?"  
  
He turned away.  
  
"We can be abnormal together. Not alone anymore, just you and I..if you let me." I offered him.  
  
He sighed, letting his head drop, and for a moment, he held it there as if in deep thought. I was growing anxious at this gesture. I could tell this was the moment of truth. All or nothing.  
  
His head lifted, only to reveal a small confident grin. "Ok pilot. As you wish. I'll give it a try."  
  
My heart leapt, and I wouldn't be too surprised if he felt it at that moment. Hiead Gner was still a mystery to some degree, but I knew that come what may, he would give me the chance to solve those mysteries.  
  
His hand crept up to my cheek and I let him rest it there.  
  
"Besides," he continued now gazing into my eyes mischievously, "You are kind of cute."  
  
"Kind of!?" I began to protest but was quickly stopped as he swooped in to claim my lips.   
  
All too quickly it had ended leaving me blinking at the momentary surge of electricity I had experienced.  
  
He almost laughed at my expression and quickly pulled me off the examination table.  
  
"Come on then, Cocteau." he teased, "We still have A LOT more training to do."  
  
I kind of liked the sound of that.  
  
~ Owari 


End file.
